We, the Representatives of Dirty Yoga, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People Who Pay Us Money, do solemnly publish and declare that WE WILL:
Deliver Dirty Yoga to anyone who wants it no matter what their gender or race, or religious, political, or sexual preferences, so long as their credit cards are valid.
Not take ourselves more seriously than absolutely required to produce the best online yoga we're capable of producing.
Never make claims of miraculous weight loss.
Never try to ruin your appreciation of good food, nice wine, vodka drinks, and bacon. And bacon. We like bacon.
Never act like recent graduates of a cheerleading school. Yeah.
Keep our shirts on and never wear tight, bright, lycra shorts on camera.
Never pretend we live in a state of zen when we live in New York City.
Never pretend that our yoga isn’t exercise, that exercise isn’t hard work, and that hard work isn’t necessary to stay in shape, especially after a certain age. Say, twelve.
Not get exercise and religion confused.
Wherever possible, bring more swearing to yoga.